Gaius's Birth Story, Part II: Baby Time!

(Missed Part I? Read it here)

Jon and I walked inside and surveyed our house. What could we get ready before the birth team arrived? 

During our home visit with Pam the week before, we had already decided that the birth tub would be set up in the kids' room, where there was enough floor space for people to move around the tub. There was also easy access to a bed for when it was time for me to get out of the tub after the birth.

We went into the basement together so I could show Jon where I had stashed the hose for filling up the birth tub. He panicked a little when he discovered that the hose would not hook up to our house's old original cast iron sinks. After all, we thought we had three more weeks to buy any adaptors we would need! I suggested that we hook one end up to the newer utility sink in the basement, and snake it up the laundry shoot. Luckily, Jon had bought a long enough hose that it reached all the way into the kids' room. 

I opened the birth kit bin that I had assembled the week before for our home visit with Pam. 

Jon laid a shower curtain over the sheets on the kids' queen size bed, and then covered it with another set of older sheets. 

I pulled out all the towels we own from our linen closet.

With nothing else to get ready, I settled down at my sewing machine again, determined to finish the few cloth diapers I had left while the contractions were still easy. 

Jon settled onto the couch with a book and ate his "to-go" meal from the restaurant. Now we just had to wait for everyone else to get there.

Multitasking.

Alison arrived first, around 8:30.

Pam drove up a few minutes later.

I continued to sew while everyone else carried in Pam's equipment bins. I saw familiar pieces of the tub make their way into the kids' room. 

By 9:30, the rest of the team had arrived: Rhee, Pam's assistant midwife; Kristin, a student midwife just starting her studies; and Elise, a newly married friend who I had invited to simply come and witness natural labor and birth.

The birth room, now ready and waiting.

My contractions were still coming regularly, now about 3-4 minutes apart on average, but still pretty easy to manage. Once I finished the last cloth diaper (why was I so fixated on finishing those things?!), we decided to go on a walk in hopes that it would ramp things up a bit. 

The temperature was still pretty hot, even this late in the evening. We don't have any air-conditioning in our house, so the occasional lake-effect breeze outside felt great. I handed my phone off to Alison to track my contractions. I kept asking Alison if they were lasting longer than a minute, knowing that the contractions needed to last that long in order to actually dilate my cervix. Jon, Alison, Elise, and I headed down one side of the street for about half a mile, and then turned around to head down the other side of the street. My contractions started lasting a little longer, but were not coming that much faster. 

At one point, I remember turning to my walking buddies and telling them that I wanted to trim my fingernails when we got back. I remembered how reaching for Eden's head during her labor had given me the second wind I needed at the end. I wanted to be able to feel Gaius's descent without worrying about scratching his little head.

When we arrived back at the house, Alison insisted that I have some food to keep my energy up for the labor ahead. I had absolutely no desire to eat, but I knew she was right. I sat on a birth ball, borrowed from a friend, while eating frozen strawberries. 

Still in good spirits, waiting for labor to ramp up.

Everyone was gathered in the living room together, and I could sense their watchful attention on my physical and emotional state. They are all waiting for me to progress. I knew that this group of women had the utmost respect for my body, and the natural labor process, but I struggled momentarily with the thought of being a burden on their time.

Sitting seemed to slow the contractions significantly. Once I was done eating, we decided to head out for another walk. I almost convinced my crew to drive to Walmart with me to buy the detergent I needed to wash my newly finished cloth diapers (I can just labor while I walk around Walmart, right?), but they convinced me to take to the streets again.

The second walk through the neighborhood really intensified the contractions. They were lasting longer and coming much closer together. By the time we were heading back to the house, I couldn't easily manage the contractions without leaning all my weight on Jon, arms flung around his neck, while Alison applied counter pressure on my hips. 

I was pretty tired when we arrived back home, around midnight. All I wanted to do was go to sleep and start up labor again the next day, but I knew that there was no turning back at this point. Actually feeling fatigue, rather than constant adrenaline like my other labors, helped me realize that I needed to intentionally rest in between contractions if I was going to have any energy to push out a baby later.

Craving rest and relief.

I decided to try laboring in my bed, laying on my side. This position turned out to be great for resting, but horrible for pain management. When the next contraction arrived, I found myself scrambling out of bed to kneel on the floor, head on the mattress, so that Alison could continue to squeeze my hips together. The pain was getting harder and harder to manage. 

Then Pam and Alison started suggesting that I get into the birth tub. That's how I knew that I must be going through transition. I must be getting close. I suffered through a few more contractions leaning on my bed, and then resolved to get in the water. 

I trimmed my fingernails. It was about 1 am.

The kids' room felt like a sauna, being that it was such a hot night, and a giant tub with hot water took up most of the floor space. Stepping into the weightless world of the water brought me back to Eden's water birth. My body relaxed, but I knew more contractions were on their way. I savored the break before the next one arrived; I lowered my head, closed my eyes, and rested one hand on my belly.

Savoring every moment of rest.

As the next contraction rolled in, I positioned myself so that Alison would still be able to apply pressure to my hips from outside the tub. I continued this dance between maximizing rest and managing pain for the next hour. I even fell asleep between a few contractions, on hands and knees, my head resting on a towel draped over the side of the tub. Alison said she could see my breath patterns change by watching the ripples on the water as I shifted between being awake and asleep. Eventually, Jon had to take over squeezing my hips together. He was the strongest and could maintain the pressure I needed.

"I'm just so tired," I found myself saying aloud after many of my contractions. "I just want to hold him."

At this point in the labor, I was simply waiting for my body to have the urge to push. I remembered naively and foolishly pushing for a straight 20 minutes during Eden's birth, not bothering to wait for contractions, and it really compromised my energy and recovery afterwards. This time, I was determined to feel that urge and wait to push along with the contractions. I would have no energy left if I didn't push smarter.

Waiting.

But I simply wasn't feeling the urge. Why wasn't it coming? Maybe I should feel for his head. I reclined against the side of the pool and I reached down and felt...nothing. Nothing.

Pam doesn't routinely perform vaginal exams before or during labor. A woman's dilation or effacement of the cervix is not necessarily a good indicator of how much time is left in her pregnancy or labor. Furthermore, every check potentially introduces unwanted foreign substances into the delicate environment of the birth canal. However, since I was already performing a check on myself, Pam decided to use the opportunity to gather information through what I was feeling.

I reported that I couldn't feel a head. Only soft tissue everywhere. Pam explained that my water might not have broken, and perhaps I was feeling the amniotic sac. So, I pushed a little further in the direction where I should be feeling something, and found a head! There was a firm bubble of amniotic fluid hovering above Gaius's hard skull that had thrown me off at first. But he was there! 

I also reported that I could feel the cervix. I found myself trying to stretch it, force a little more "give" to the tissue. It's time to get this baby OUT!

Soon I started "test" pushing; maybe a little push will help him engage in the pelvis and move things along. It didn't seem to do much. So I turned my focus once again to resting in between contractions and waiting for the urge to push.

When the urge came, it really came. I started bearing down with everything I had. I kept my hand in the birth canal, hoping to feel him as he emerged.

He descended suddenly. I could feel him crowning. I tried applying counter pressure so that I wouldn't tear. His head was slowly emerging. 

I didn't realize at the time that my water still hadn't broken. As his head was coming out, Pam asked me to shift from a reclining position to hands and knees. Thankfully, this wasn't too difficult in the water, but I did so with his head halfway out. She couldn't see him clearly through amniotic sac. 

Now that Pam was positioned to guide Gaius in Jon's hands, she exclaimed, "Oh! His head isn't all the way out! Alison, I need you to give a gentle push to coax the rest of his head out." A little push was all it took.

The next contraction brought the rest of Gaius's body into Jon's hands, still completely encased in the bag of waters. He was born in the caul! 

Pam quickly broke the bag to check for any cord tangles. Then she and Jon raised his body above the water and handed him to me.

Bliss.

I wish I could recall what I said in that moment. All I remember is the euphoric, pain-free, utter relief of getting to hold my baby for the first time. I wanted to clutch him close and stare at him all at once. 

There was no more waiting, no more wondering, no more wanting it to be over. He was here. And he was perfect. He was calm; he was warm and squishy and slippery. 

And he was mine.

Gaius's Birth Story, Part I: Is This Really Happening?!!

I woke up on Thursday, July 6 to a contraction. Rudely awakened by the painful tightening, I stumbled drowsily into the bathroom to drain the little bit of pee that my bladder could hold. As I crawled back into bed, a little more alert, I wondered if I had really had a contraction at all, or if the feeling was left over from a fading dream. I closed my eyes, hoping to doze off again before Jadon and Eden skipped into my room to ask for a banana.

Then I had another one. This time, my eyes flew open. 

I was exactly 39 weeks pregnant that day. But pre-labor signs were the last thing on my mind. After all, Jadon had been born twelve days past his due date; Eden had to be coaxed out with castor oil fourteen days past her due date. I fully expected to be pregnant with little Gaius for another three weeks! What's with these contractions?!

I turned over to Jon, who was just waking up. "Jon."

"What?"

"I just felt two contractions. Like, not just Braxton Hicks contractions, but real, uncomfortable, annoying, pre-labor contractions."

He turned over to look at me, and motioned to take my hand. I offered it, and he gave it a reassuring squeeze. "You ready to have a baby?"

"Well, I guess I might have to be," I responded outwardly. Inwardly, I asked, How can you be so calm? This isn't happening today! You should be laughing at me, asking if I'm really sure, something!

We rolled out of bed and started getting ready for the day ahead. Jadon and Eden emerged from their beds, asking for their morning bananas. I took a rare morning shower to test and see if the contractions continued. They did. They were sporadic, anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes apart, but real, and not going away. 

I thought about my plans for the day. Soon, our upstairs neighbor would be sending down her daughter for me to watch while she was at work. After feeding everyone breakfast, I would drive us all over to the home of Alison, my doula, to also watch her two kids for the morning. I knew I had no reason to cancel any of these plans right then, but I hoped I wouldn't have to inconvenience two families by going into labor while I was in charge of their kids.

Once we arrived at Alison's house, the kids poured out of the car to greet their friends and start playing. I followed Alison into her kitchen and practically blurted out that I had been experiencing contractions all morning. She gave me the look that I had expected from Jon: surprise and doubt, mixed with a little smirk.

I proceeded to explain how I woke up, and how these contractions were different from Braxton Hicks. She laughed, "Oh, stop it, stop it. It's so not fair. Alison, I was having contractions like that with Joel starting at, like, 14 weeks!" We have frequently joked with each other that we would be a perfect baby-making team if I could take on pregnancy, and then she could somehow take over at labor and delivery. I took her comment in good humor, but it did cause me to question if I was experiencing something that was "normal" for most full-term pregnant women, but I had yet to experience with my "easy" pregnancies.

Once Alison left, I turned my attention to the little people in my care. Looking back, having all those kids and their needs fill up my day helped me not become consumed with what was going on in my body. I continued to notice the contractions as I helped pick backyard raspberries, set up a sprinkler, tend to "owies," make lunch, read books, and police conflicting ideas of what games and imaginative play should come next. 

It was time to return home around 1:30, and I had a few more contractions during the drive. It was another couple hours of playtime before my neighbor came home, and I continued to notice the presence of these sporadic, uncomfortable contractions. The kids were playing so nicely that I decided to sit down at my sewing machine at the dining room table and try to finish a few more cloth diapers for Gaius once he outgrew my newborn sizes.

I remember my eyes unexpectedly tearing up at the sewing machine. It was the first time that day where I had a pause, just a moment to myself. My sudden emotional response helped me admit to myself what I already knew deep inside: this baby was coming, and it wouldn't be in three weeks. Maybe not tonight, but probably in the next couple days.

By 5:00, my neighbor was back from work, and Jon arrived home soon after. He asked me what time we had to leave, since Thursday night is "Grandma night," and we planned to go out to our favorite restaurant downtown. I told him that Grandma was expecting us around 6, and that the contractions had continued all day. 

"Did you tell Pam yet?"

"No." 

"You need to contact her and give her a heads up. We don't even have the birth tub yet."

So I texted Pam:

When she called me back, she affirmed that she was surprised by the timing of it all, but that she trusted what I was feeling. I told her that I planned to go about our evening as planned, which she agreed was a good idea. She reminded me that pre-labor contractions could last for days, or even weeks. What she needed to know was when I was experiencing clear labor patterns, and she needed to actually start heading my way once contractions were under five minutes apart, or lasting longer than a minute, or if my water were to break.

After I hung up, I downloaded a contraction timer app to my phone so that I could actually start tracking myself objectively. 

Soon it was time to pile the family into the car. As I walked the kids into my parents' house, I happened to get another contraction. We found my mom in the kitchen. She greeted the kids, then looked at me and asked, "What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing's wrong...I've just been experiencing contractions...all day!"

My mom's eyes opened wide with anticipation. I told her that there was no established pattern yet, but that I was pretty sure labor would come much sooner than I had originally thought. However, I knew that really anything was possible at this point. Pre-labor pains could plague me for days, but go away at night; they could last all night and ramp up into an exhausting labor the next day on little sleep; they could jump straight into active labor if my water were to break. 

All the same, my mom was excited, and insisted on taking a picture of me, in case it was the last one I would get before Gaius arrived. 

As we parted, I told her that we would pick up the kids before 9. She told me to keep her posted.

Jon and I headed downtown for dinner at our new favorite Milwaukee restaurant, Bavette. However, we completely forgot that Summerfest was in full swing, so traffic was thick, and parking looked impossible. As we drove around for the next half hour, I continued to track my contractions. I also had a long text conversation with my doula.

Soon, I noticed that they started coming in under ten minutes apart. We decided to ditch the downtown area for something closer to home.

We arrived at the Riverwest Filling Station, located just three blocks from our house, just before 7. I was relieved to step into the air conditioning, as it was nearly 90 degrees that day. We sat at the bar and started looking over the menu, all while I continued to track the contractions. They were about 7 minutes apart. I texted Pam a screen shot of my contraction timer to give her an update. She recognized that things were picking up and asked if I wanted her to come down. I still had this haunting suspicion that labor could taper off. I can't have this entire birth team come to my house, only to send them home again. I told her I wanted to have a few more contractions first.

We ordered our food. Then they started coming in less than five minutes apart. I knew that there was really no turning back now. It had taken me all day to realize that this was really it. I am definitely in labor. I am having a baby tonight!

I showed Jon the timer app. We requested that our food be put in take out bags since we needed to leave sooner than originally planned; I was in labor. I don't think I've ever seen a waiter power walk that fast.

I texted Pam that it was go time. I really hoped that she would get to our house in time to set up the birth tub.

I texted Alison. She said she'd head over as soon as she finished dinner with her family.

I called my mom. She said that she was already anticipating keeping the kids overnight. I laughed to myself, knowing that I literally dropped them off with the clothes on their back, and technically, Jadon was only wearing his swimming trucks and rash guard from playing in the sprinkler that morning. He didn't even have underwear! 

Our food arrived, and we headed out the door.

Click here to read Part II

Eden's Birth Story, Part III: Naturally Inducing my VBAC Home Birth

Jadon fell asleep on the way home from the non-stress test at the Dr. W’s office. Jon decided to stay in the car and read until Jadon woke up so that he could get a good nap in that day. While they camped out in the car, I went inside to give castor oil a second chance.

When I tried ingesting castor oil the previous day, I threw it up. I think I had been too full from breakfast when I ate the entire castor oil smoothie in one sitting. So for my second attempt, after a small snack, I prepared the recommended four ounces of castor oil with just two ounces of orange juice.

I gulped it down at 3:15.

Around 4:00, I took my first trip to the toilet. The digestive effects of the castor oil seemed to be working. I was so thankful that the castor oil wasn’t making me feel sick. The next few hours of toilet stops just seemed to be clearing out my system (which I really didn’t mind, hoping that a baby would be the only thing I’d be pushing out in that birth tub later!).

By 4:30, I started experiencing mild contractions. They began just as they had the previous day: five or six minutes apart, about 30-60 seconds long, and very, very easy. I texted Pam, my midwife, with the update, and then decided to lie down and rest. I would need to save my energy if this was the beginning of real labor.

The contractions continued as steady, easy, and unchanging as ever…for hours. When Jon came in with a groggy Jadon, he was thrilled to hear that contractions had started on their own. I texted Alison, my doula, with an update. She was excited to hear about the contractions, too, and hoped that things would really take off so that she could justify pausing her family’s vacation plans. If active labor began soon, she could come to assist me, and even then she’d be running on little sleep the next day en route to California.

Around 6:30, Pam stopped by to see how things were progressing. I was still resting in bed, so she checked to see how dilated I was. She determined that I was about four centimeters dilated. Then, she wanted me to get up and walk around to see if the contractions changed in any way.

Sitting, standing, and pacing seemed to have no effect at all on the intensity or frequency of the contractions. They were so easy and effortless that I showed no outward signs of their occurrence. In fact, Pam and Jon asked me many times if I was still experiencing contractions.

By this time, it was about 8:00 pm. Since things seemed to be going very slowly, Pam decided to leave and let me labor on my own. She said that she would make sure to stay in the area because she believed that contractions could really ramp up at any time. She wanted me to call immediately if my water broke or if my contractions started coming less than three minutes apart.

Alison called me shortly after Pam left. She asked if labor seemed to be picking up. When I told her that there was virtually no change, she admitted that she was at the point of no return regarding her family’s vacation. Her voice choked with emotion as she apologized over and over for not being able to be there. I cried silent tears on the other end of the line, but reassured her that nothing was her fault. After all, no one thought this baby would take so long to come out. She promised that she’d be praying for us all night, as she wouldn’t be able to think of anything else.

After we hung up, I let Alison’s absence sink in. Then, I made another phone call.

“Hello, Maria? It’s Alison… yeah, I tried the castor oil again this afternoon and contractions started up on their own within a couple hours…listen, are you available if I need you later tonight? My friend Alison won’t be able to make it because her family is traveling to a wedding in California…oh, thank you! Things aren’t moving that fast yet. Contractions are actually are totally easy and not changing at all…yeah, I’m willing to try acupuncture again…maybe I will…well, I’ll call if I think I need you. Thank you so much, Maria…yup, I’ll text you my address…Bye.”

Peace washed over me, knowing Maria was willing to assist me with so little advanced notice. She had even offered to do another acupuncture session in order to help things along.

For the next two hours, I paced the apartment, trying to speed contractions up with the movement. I continued to time them, and waited for any sign of change. Occasionally, it felt like they were be getting more intense, but it was hard to tell if my mind was playing tricks on me. Eventually, they started coming about every three minutes, but remained incredibly easy to work through.

Around 11:00, Pam returned. We started filling up the birth tub since you have to empty your water heater several times before the tub is full. I still was waiting for contractions to become “real.”

Then, I decided to call Maria again. Since things were moving so slowly, I wanted to try acupuncture to push my body over the edge.

Maria arrived at our apartment around 1:00 am. After some quick introductions, Maria and I headed into the bedroom to start an acupuncture session. I reclined on my side and propped up several pillows to support myself while she prepared the tiny needles for specific pressure points that would (hopefully!) stimulate my labor.

First, she put two small needles in my hand. Then, she added one to my ear. The next needles were placed into my calves and ankles. Finally, she inserted the last needle on the outside edge of my right pinky toe, a uterine point. Immediately after the needle pricked my toe, I felt a gush of water.

“Uh, Maria…my water just broke!”

“Oh, well that was fast…do you want me to continue?”

“I think you better go tell Pam.”

Before Maria could return with Pam I experienced my next contraction – a real contraction. It took considerable effort to keep myself from tensing up. I knew in that moment that we had crossed a threshold; this baby was really on the way now!

Pam entered the room with a Doppler fetal monitor to check on the baby’s heartbeat. Jon looked on with beaming eyes. I think he understood that things would really be moving now.

My water had broken around 1:30, and we decided to let me lie on the bed with the needles still inserted as long as I could continue to remain still. It grew harder and harder to remain motionless with every passing contraction. Eventually, I called Maria back in to remove the needles; I simply had to get up and walk around.

Within a few minutes, I was pacing in the living room, leaning over the couch as contractions came. They were getting so hard to deal with on my own! Maria was great at jumping in to apply pressure on my hips and give me an encouraging word.

A little later, I decided to try sitting on the exercise ball that Alison had let me borrow. I tried sitting on the ball, bracing myself against the couch for several contractions. Pam, Jon, and Heather, Pam’s newly arrived assistant, looked on while Maria continued to apply pressure on my hips to help with the pain.

“Oh, I just want it to be over! Pam, am I almost done? When is this going to be over?” I sighed after coming out of a difficult contraction.

“Honey, if I knew when a labor would be over, I would be a millionaire,” she gently replied with a smile.

I glanced at the clock. 2:30. How long would I have to continue?

“I need someone to tell me that this is going to be over at 3:30!” I stammered after another contraction.

“Honey,” said Jon, “this will all be over at 3:30.”

“You don’t know that!” I moaned back, irritated that his words couldn’t be true.

Contractions were really getting hard to manage at that point. Pam suggested that I try getting into the birth tub, since many moms say that the water helps them deal with the pain. I debated whether or not to get in. I knew that I wanted to save the tub until I knew labor was approaching the pushing stage. I didn’t want to labor in the tub for hours and hours.

However, after the next contraction, I announced that I was getting in the tub. These contractions were horrible. It was 2:50.

As I slipped into the warm water in the birth tub, I felt my body relax. The water felt so good. However, that sense of tension release left as soon as the next contraction came on. I don’t know what I expected the water to do to the intensity of the contractions, but it didn’t seem to do anything!

The water was great for moving around, though; the new sensation of weightlessness allowed me to try several different laboring positions without much effort. I tried a few contractions on my hands and knees. I tried a few more with my legs outstretched and my arms draped over the edge of the tub. At one point, I remember practically doing laps around the perimeter of the birth tub, moaning, “I don’t know what I’m doing! I don’t know what position my body needs!” Pam reassured me that whatever I was doing was exactly what my body needed to get that baby in position for his or her entrance into the world.

Then, I started feeling the urge to push. I found out later that it was 3:10. Had I really only been in the water for twenty minutes before I started pushing?

As a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C-Section) mom, this part of the labor was new to me; it was like I experienced another first labor. I never knew how hard a woman really has to push in order to get a baby out! I was pushing with everything I had. Pam encouraged me to push only when I felt a contraction; it would be like waiting to catch a wave as you are swimming back to shore. But it was actually hard to tell when I was feeling a contraction! How could a contraction, so unmistakably unbearable just minutes before, now be so hard to discern?

At this point, time seemed to disappear for me. I continued to ask when this would all be over, although I was speaking to God more than anyone in the room. Everyone else knew that I was near the end, but I felt like the pushing and waiting would never end.

Somehow, I had enough mental capacity to remember something I had read in several birth stories. Some women instinctually reach down to feel for their baby’s head during labor. Upon feeling it, they often report getting a surge of energy, knowing that their labor is not in vain. I remember consciously thinking, I am getting discouraged…maybe I should to reach for the head to get the boost that I need.

“Pam, can I reach for the head?”

“Absolutely. See if you can feel your baby.”

I reached my hand down and felt a head! Not only did I feel the head, but I felt hair. I was shocked to feel hair; it actually distracted me for a bit. I had assumed that Baby #2 would be as bald as Jadon.

I continued to push, but now I kept my fingertips on the baby’s head. I was practically addicted to the touch of my little one; it really did give me the encouragement I needed. Looking back, it was an incredible experience to actually feel the baby slowly descend the birth canal with every effort I gave.

At one point, as I stopped pushing, I felt the baby retreat up the birth canal quite a bit.

“The baby went backwards!” I lamented.

“Two steps forward, and one step back, Alison. Two steps forward, and one step back,” reassured Pam.

After just a few more contractions, I felt the head emerge. I paused, following Pam’s guidance. She positioned Jon’s hands to catch the baby. With the next push, the baby slipped into my husband’s hands. Pam told him to keep the baby under the water while she freed a tiny foot from an umbilical cord tangle. The baby was under the water for a total of about ten seconds. As long as the water is warmer than the mother’s body temperature, the baby will not experience the reflex to take a breath.

Then Pam helped guide Jon’s hands to hand the baby to me. A few seconds after lifting the head above the water line, the baby let out a cry.

I realized that no one had checked the baby’s sex yet. With my baby draped across my chest, I lifted one of the legs to discover that we had a daughter.

“It’s a girl!” I announced. “Hello, Eden! It’s your mama!”

“Look at all that hair,” Jon remarked. I smiled to myself, knowing that I discovered the hair before anyone else.

Our little girl arrived at 3:34, ironically close to the 3:30 cut-off time I had demanded earlier in my labor. Jon and I gazed at our amazing creation while Pam, Heather, and Maria got to work preparing the bed, towels, sterilizing equipment, and more. I found myself muttering phrases like, “She’s finally here,” and “I can’t believe it’s finished,” over and over again.

The aftermath of our home birth was a welcome change from our hospital stay after Jadon’s c-section. I was immediately offered food and drink from my own kitchen. I rested in my own bed, wrapped in my own soft towels and blankets. My toddler was still asleep, just a room away, unaware that he was now a big brother. Best of all, I knew that I would soon be able to sleep without hourly interruptions from hospital staff performing required checkups throughout the night.

As I reflect on Eden’s birth, I can clearly see God’s provision for all the little details. I’m grateful that the castor oil actually worked without making me sick so that I could avoid a hospital induction. I’m amazed at His plan in having Maria be present in Alison’s place; I credit her acupuncture expertise for pushing my body into active labor! I’m relieved that the labor happened overnight so that we didn’t have to send Jadon away with friends or family; I liked knowing that he was safe and nearby. I am thrilled that God granted me a successful home birth VBAC with no complications or scary surprises. Above all, I’m smitten with my darling little girl, whom I have the privilege to raise and cherish in the years to come. 

Eden's Birth Story, Part II: Scheduling a Hospital Induction

[Missed Part I? Click here!]

I woke up Tuesday morning refreshed from deep sleep. The emotional end to the previous day felt like a distant dream now that the sun was up. Yet, I was still a little nervous about the non-stress test ahead of me. I followed my midwife's advice to eat or drink something with a good amount of caffeine or sugar, as monitoring the baby while he or she moved was the main purpose of the test. I enjoyed a large iced coffee in the car on the way to the clinic for our 10:00 appointment.

41 weeks and 6 days pregnant, the day of our non-stress test

We didn’t have to wait long to be seen. The nurse led us back to a small examination room where she hooked me up to a fetal monitor. We immediately saw several bouncing lines start scrolling across a computer screen. Pointing, the nurse explained that a particular line recorded the baby’s heartbeat. She handed me a small wand with a button on the end. When I felt the baby move, I was supposed to punch the button. The frequency of the baby’s heartbeat was supposed to increase immediately following movement.

And then the nurse left, saying she’d check up on us in about five minutes. Jon kept Jadon occupied with snacks and an app on his phone. I waited for the baby to move, but felt nothing. Five minutes passed.

The nurse returned, took one look at the screen, and said, “Baby must be sleeping, huh?”

“Yeah, looks like it,” I replied.

Then the nurse offered to get me a glass of apple juice, as that usually gives a sugary burst of energy to the baby. I accepted the offer.

When she returned with the cup of juice, I asked how long this test usually takes. “Well, it takes as long as it takes for your baby to move,” she answered.

I downed the juice. “And what if the baby doesn’t happen to move?”

“Then we may have to send you over to the hospital for some closer monitoring.”

Great. Exactly what I was afraid of. More tests. I knew that my baby was fine, and that he or she had been moving plenty that morning already. However, if the baby wasn’t moving during this test, I was out of luck. I literally couldn’t make this baby move, and I couldn’t leave until he or she did.

Thankfully, just minutes after drinking the juice, I felt a nice hard kick. I immediately pressed the button, joyfully telling Jon that the baby moved. I saw relief fall over his face. The heartbeat line on the screen steadily climbed, and then gently fell back to the normal frequency. Then the baby moved again. And again. And again! The heartbeat peaked after each movement, and always returned to that healthy, steady rhythm.

When the nurse reentered, she looked at the screen, smiled, and remarked that the juice seemed to be working. Since there was plenty of data to see, she left again, this time to get Dr. W.

“Wow, your baby’s a rock star!” remarked Dr. W as he glanced at the screen. “But, I thought I wasn’t supposed to be seeing you folks again! I guess your baby’s pretty comfortable in there, huh, Alison?”

I laughed, glad that he seemed to be laid back about going later than we expected. He explained to us that the non-stress test looked excellent, but he also wanted to get a quick look at the baby on the ultrasound screen to make sure the fluid levels were appropriate, and that the placenta looked healthy. Even though we prefer having only one ultrasound performed at twenty weeks, we agreed that a quick ultrasound was wise and would give us peace of mind as we continued to wait.

Our entire crew shuffled to another examination room with the ultrasound equipment. It took less than five minutes for Dr. W to see what he was looking for.

“Okay, let’s see…well, baby is head down…now I'm looking for a fluid pocket…fluid pocket…here’s one…but the cord is present in the shot, so I’m not allowed to do a reading on that one…another fluid pocket…it's a nice size, excellent size…okay, now for the placenta…it’s still nice and high, away from the cervix and your scar tissue…wow, it’s really in excellent shape, only slight traces of calcification near the edges, which is wonderful at the 42 week mark…well, that’s all I need to see…everything looks great!”

As I cleaned the goop off my belly, Dr. W reasoned with us about the days ahead. He explained that there was no reason to induce simply because I had reached the 42-week mark, especially when the baby and I were both in such good health. However, he continued to say that the probability of unexplained stillbirth rises exponentially between 42 and 43 weeks, and that he really wasn’t comfortable letting the pregnancy continue past the weekend. He proposed that we come in for an induction on Thursday, only two days away, and one day past 42 weeks.

At this, my husband piped up. “Doesn’t it make more sense to come in for another non-stress test on Thursday, and then consider an induction on Friday, especially if the non-stress test isn’t as favorable as the one we had today?”

Dr. W paused, but agreed to scheduling an induction for Friday. I had a lot of questions about what would be allowed if I was to labor in the hospital. I found out that I would be allowed to walk the halls and move around the room during my contractions, and that I would not have to push laying down on a bed. However, I would have to have a wireless fetal monitor on me at all times, and an IV saline lock in my arm in case they needed to administer fluids or medications. He saw in my face that I didn’t like the idea of continuous monitoring, or the IV. Then he said, “I know how much you want to have a home birth, Alison, but how important would you say it is for you to have a vaginal birth?”

“Having a VBAC this time around is probably my top priority, even if it has to be done in a hospital.”

“I am committed to giving you a VBAC, Alison,” Dr. W said earnestly. “This means that I won’t be giving you any kind of timeline if you are laboring in the hospital. If you arrive on Friday morning, I know that you may be here all day Friday, and Saturday, and maybe even Sunday. As long as you and the baby continue to look healthy, I want you to have as much time as you need to have the VBAC.”

So, we scheduled the hospital induction for Friday morning at 7:30 am. My heart was heavy, but I was grateful at the same time. I knew that not every doctor would be as gracious as Dr. W in allowing the pregnancy to continue at all! Furthermore, doctors are notorious for putting time constraints on labor, especially if a woman’s water has already broken. Yet, as generous as his “no time limits” offer was, I knew that chemically inducing my labor complicated my hopes for a VBAC. Pitocin-generated contractions are a lot harder on the uterus, and scar tissue, than contractions stimulated by the body’s own natural oxytocin. Continuous monitoring could show “distress” or other issues that were actually caused by the induction itself. 

The more I thought about a hospital birth, the more resolved I became to have this baby before Friday morning.

On the drive home, I texted Pam (my midwife) and Alison (my doula) to share the good results of the non-stress test, and the ultrasound. I also told them that we had scheduled an induction, but that I would be taking some more castor oil when I got home. This baby needed to come out.

Stay tuned for the final Part III, coming soon!

Eden's Birth Story, Part I: Waiting for Labor

I was pretty confident that I would be “late” with my second child. My mom carried all of her children well past their due dates: all three girls were a full two weeks late, and the two boys were exactly ten days late. My own firstborn also took his time in making an appearance; Jadon’s birth occurred twelve days past his due date. I was sure that I would be late with Baby #2, but I didn’t know how late.

While I wasn’t worried about being “overdue,” I was very aware that being late with my VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C-Section) status could make doctors, friends, and family more nervous, even more so because I intended to birth at home. I knew that I wanted the freedom to go into labor on my own; however, I also knew that I was willing to help things along “naturally” in order to avoid a hospital induction.

To make myself feel like I was doing something productive, I repeated some of the "natural induction" tricks I used at the end of Jadon’s pregnancy: eating pineapple, going on daily walks, and doing “pelvic rocks” on all fours, etc. To be honest, I don’t think any of these methods had any effect on the timing of Jadon’s birth. At the end of this pregnancy, I also tried a few new tricks, like eating Eggplant Parmesan (with three days of leftovers!), and doing hula hoop motions while sitting on an exercise ball. If nothing else, I knew that the physical exercises would at least help this baby stay in an optimal birthing position. No surprise breech babies allowed this time around!

Mmmmm...Eggplant Parmesan...tasty, but didn't induce my labor

I knew that if my body had not gone into labor on its own within a week of my due date, I would be willing to consider some more – shall we say – drastic measures. Even so, I continued to hope and pray that Baby #2 would come when he or she was ready.

My midwife, Pam, and doula, Alison, both recommend acupuncture and acupressure as a means for readying the mother’s body for labor. Alison credits acupuncture for getting labor started for her second child. I’d never done acupuncture before, and was a little apprehensive about having a bunch of needles stuck in me. However, an acupuncturist/doula/massage therapist friend of mine, Maria, privately messaged me on my due date to offer her services if I was interested in using them. She shared that she has had a lot of success with acupuncture for VBACs in particular. The idea of meeting with someone I knew put acupuncture in the “maybe I could do that” category. I told Maria that I would let her know.

41 weeks pregnant, passing the time with another trip to the playground!

One week later, at 41 weeks pregnant, and with no signs of imminent labor, I finally decided to give acupuncture a try. It was a new experience for me, having needles stuck into particular points on my body for uterine and cervical stimulation. I can’t remember what all these points were for, but I know that I had needles in my lower back, ear, hand, ankle, and on the outside corner of my pinky toe (that one really stings going in!). I learned a little about the practice of acupuncture from Maria, and enjoyed the chance to relax, but really didn’t know if it was doing anything. Two days later, a Friday, I went back for another session, this time at the recommendation of my husband, Jon. We hoped it would give my body the push it needed to take off on its own, hopefully over the weekend.

Saturday arrived, with no signs of labor. Alison texted me that morning to ask if I wanted her to make me a castor oil smoothie.

Castor oil…the powerful laxative that not only empties the bowels, but irritates the uterus, often resulting in the routine tightening of the uterine muscles called contractions. I had read several birth stories where castor oil successfully jump-started labor. However, castor oil also makes many women sick. Vomiting or diarrhea while laboring? No thanks!

Yet, theoretically, I knew that I was willing to try it. The 42-week mark was only four days away. On that day, Pam would be legally required to consult with Dr. W about the condition of my pregnancy. Most doctors would not allow a pregnancy to last that long in the first place. That day, I could lose a lot of freedom and decision making power over how and where I would give birth. I knew I was willing to try castor oil before then, but when?

I decided to text Pam about trying castor oil. She said that it was completely up to me if I wanted to try it, but that she would definitely want advanced notice before I take it. She also mentioned that she has a specific protocol to follow for best results, if I chose to go that route. First, she said that castor oil plain or in a smoothie would be best taken earlier in the day so that I wouldn’t be up all night on the toilet, which would probably leave me exhausted at the delivery. Second, she told me that nothing less than four ounces of castor oil is worth the drink. Any less could potentially not be enough to produce the desired result of contractions. Third, Pam reported that castor oil works best when coupled with some time on a breast pump, as nipple stimulation also can produce contractions. Finally, she said that it’s most important to stay hydrated before and after taking the castor oil.

I spent the rest of the night debating whether or not I should take the smoothie. I stayed up late, reading dozens of online forums where women reported their experiences with castor oil. The most common story went something like this: “I made myself a smoothie…a couple hours later I had diarrhea…a couple hours after that I had a baby.” However, some women reported getting really sick, even having diarrhea during labor (ugh!). Even more reported that the castor oil had no effect on them at all. Of course, some of these women were attempting to induce themselves at 38 weeks pregnant, or less. And I had no idea how much their dosage was.

Sunday morning, I privately messaged Maria to ask if she had any advice concerning castor oil. She informed me that her sister used castor oil to coax her fourth baby out, but that it made her feel pretty sick during labor. She reassured me that it has no negative effects on the baby whatsoever. Then, she volunteered herself to help me in my labor in any way that she could be of use. "Please don't hesitate to call!" she wrote. "I am just passionate about babies being born healthy!" I was so touched by her sincerity, and told her that I just might take her up on the offer if I felt like I needed her.

Sunday night, I found myself in Alison’s back yard, celebrating her husband’s birthday with food from his new birthday grill. We enjoyed the beautiful weather, watched our kids play in a water table, and talked about my midwife’s castor oil recommendations. Together, we decided that I should make a castor oil smoothie the next morning after having a good breakfast. Alison would come up to my apartment with her kids around midday, hopefully while I was starting to see the effects of the castor oil. If labor really got started, she’d be there to watch Jadon, call Pam, and assist me while we waited for the rest of the birth team to arrive.

Monday morning, Memorial Day, I woke up full of anticipation. What if today’s the day? Will it be a boy or a girl!? I couldn’t wait to meet my baby.

Jon was sitting out in the living room with Jadon when I emerged from the bedroom. I set myself to making breakfast. We finished eating shortly after 9:00. As Pam recommended, I waited over an hour to allow my food to digest before I took the castor oil smoothie.

At 10:40, despite still feeling pretty full from breakfast, I did my best to finish the smoothie in one quick sitting. Then I waited. In one hour’s time, I was supposed to use an electric breast pump to get some contractions going, switching sides every five minutes for a full hour. I sat on the exercise ball, watching some Curious George with Jadon. I over-analyzed every little feeling in my body. Was that my stomach churning, or the baby? I felt like a ticking time bomb.

Alison arrived with her two kids while I waited for the hour to pass. It was nice to be distracted from what was going on in my body while we talked.

Around 11:45, I started the breast pump. My insides still churned while I spent my first five minutes on the right side. A few seconds into the left side, my mouth started watering like crazy. “I’m going to throw up,” I announced to Jon and Alison. Luckily, I made it to a garbage bin in time. With every heave of my stomach, the awful churning feeling went away. On the one hand, I felt relief, since the castor oil was out of my system. On the other hand, I felt defeated because “operation castor oil” no longer seemed feasible.

I texted Pam to see what she’d have to say. She suggested that I still complete the hour on the pump since we weren’t sure how much castor oil my body had taken in. Even if I hadn’t been able to digest much, some women successfully jump-start labors with a breast pump alone.

Sure enough, within ten more minutes of using the breast pump, I started experiencing mild contractions. They were extremely easy to handle, but definitely had a peak in strength before they resolved. They soon fell into a regular pattern of three minute intervals, usually lasting about a minute. My hopes revived as the pattern continued for the entire hour, and seemed to maintain itself even when I went off the pump for a break.

My dresser, standing ready with my home birth kit and lots of clean towels...for weeks!

Thirty minutes off the pump, the contractions slowed to four or five minutes apart, but quickly resumed their three minute intervals when I started my second hour on the pump. All the while, they required no concentration or effort on my part.

At the end of the second hour, Alison and I decided to take a walk, hopefully to ramp up the contractions. With rain clouds looming overhead, we thought it best to simply do laps around the dead-end street where my apartment is located. Contractions continued as steady as ever, but with no increase in intensity. Some of our neighbors were sitting in their open garage while we walked. After our third loop around the street, it was clear that we had become a topic of conversation. 

As we passed them a fourth time, I called out, “You must be wondering why we’re walking in circles!”

“Oh, we know why…you want that baby out!” yelled one of the guys, as they all laughed.

“But I have to ask,” chimed one lady, “How far along are you?”

“Twelve days late,” I replied with a smile.

“Twelve days late!” several of the neighbors repeated, in disbelief.

“Wow, you look great for being twelve days late!” the lady remarked. “Good luck!”

When it finally started to rain, Alison and I returned to the apartment. I called Pam as we headed inside. Pam thought it best for me to take a break. If things really were going to get started on their own, I would need energy for labor. If the contractions tapered off and stopped, then it just wasn’t meant to be. She encouraged me to eat a good dinner and to get a good night’s rest either way.

I thought this was good advice, even though I really was hoping for labor to take off at any moment. After all, this day was the perfect day for my baby to be born. Jadon would be going to bed soon, and he could just sleep through the birth and meet his baby brother or sister in the morning. Alison and her family were already at our apartment; they were planning to leave for vacation late the next day. How could I have this baby without my doula and close friend? I also really wanted to avoid the non-stress test at the doctor’s office we had scheduled for the next morning. I knew that my pregnancy was healthy and normal; what if the test didn’t satisfy Dr. W and his staff and they’d want to keep me there for further monitoring or something?

My bedroom, rearranged to fit the birth tub. Also a constant reminder that my baby still wasn't here! 

I decided to take a cool shower and lay down for a bit while Alison prepared dinner for both of our families (seriously, what would I do without this woman?!). As my body settled into rest, the contractions spaced out to nine or ten minutes apart. I joined everyone at the table and realized at the end of the meal that the contractions had stopped completely. I was disappointed, but I tried not to show it.

Alison and I went for another quick walk after dinner, just to see if contractions would start up again. They didn’t.

By the time we returned the apartment, I was holding back tears. The unacknowledged emotions that had been building since my due date seemed to surface all at once. Today was twelve days past the due date! Don’t second babies normally come sooner than firsts? Jadon was born on day twelve; why hadn’t labor started on its own? I thought I wouldn’t be seeing Dr. W and his staff again; what if he’s not okay with allowing my pregnancy to go pass 42 weeks? Jon took off of work last week, and he can’t take off that many more days; who’s going to help me out if he has unavoidable commitments? If only I had been able to keep that castor oil down, then maybe I’d have a baby in my arms right now! What if I’m trying to force something my body, and baby, simply aren’t ready for? Why does 42 weeks have to be this magical cut off date? I just need more time!

The tears finally streamed down my face as Alison and her family packed up to go home. She reassured me that the hours of contractions that day certainly were priming my body for labor. Labor could even start on its own that night when I was sleeping. She told me that her phone was charged and ready for my call, and she’d be back as soon as things got going. She even mentioned that she was considering changing travel plans if need be, especially if there were sure signs that labor had begun.

After they left, Jon and I discussed our plans for the next day. He made a few phone calls and was able to reschedule his jobs for the next day so that he could come with me to the non-stress test. I went to bed thankful that Jon would be able to come with me, but still nervous about what Dr. W and his staff might ask of me, considering that I was so “late,” and a VBAC. 

With Jadon tucked into bed, we prayed for peace, patience, and trust in God’s plan and perfect timing. Then, emotionally and physically drained, I went to bed.

Part II coming soon!